London

Well,we are back and we had a fabby time.
We went on the London Eye, which was great, it was a clear day so we had great views. That's the only touristy thing we did though, the rest of the time was spent on Edgware Rd,which is like Little Lebanon - full of Lebanese shops and restaurants. We spent a fortune on food, but hey, we felt a bit closer to Lebanon,so what the heck!!
We spent each evening in a little cafe where the kids could surf the www and we could have a pot of mint tea and a shisha (water pipe), the first evening we did this I finally felt myself physically relax after so many weeks of tension.
We brought some food back with us and have some good piccies too.

Well Done Rosa

I need to brag today.My sisters daughter Rosa who lives in Spain has done so well in her GCSE's. She got 2 A's and 7 A* 's How amazingly clever is she!!
She also took 2 GCSE's last year and got A* 's , whats even more amazing is that she is only 15, my sister Elaine is the headmistress at the school and she was able to go up a year. She is going to a school in England in September to take her A levels, I think she has set her sights on medicine, I think the world is her oyster, well done sweetheart.

a little break

We are going to London on Sunday and staying in a hotel for 2 nights. We need a bit of a break. We should still be on holiday for another 2 weeks,but hey,a weekend is better than nothing.

I think we will be tourists for a day and show the kids all the landmarks,then we will probably spend a day in Edgware Road, which has all the Arabic shops and restaurants.

It will be a good opportunity to take the new car on a longer journey too,it should certainly be more comfortable and we will have loads of space. We will use sat nav,I have hysterics when Nasser ignores what the woman says and she has to keep repeating it!! I wish I could programme it to say "well piss off then,if you'renot going to listen to me find your own way"!!!

stressful sunday

What a stress ridden day today was. Some family stuff I can't get into here then my will to live dissapeared while trying to get my point of view across to those oh so tolerant 2Peas posters!

Thank goodness the majority of people here can see what I'm trying to say, I don't want everyone to agree with me just be able to see my point of view without calling me a terrorist!

I posted a link to the website by the Stop the War Coalition(I think theres a link on this blog a few posts back) .Now because this website shows the truth they dismissed it straight away as propaganda. It was actually someone on UKScrappers who posted a link to the site, I had never seen it before and it is from that link that we knew about the demonstration Nasser went on in London. The difference in attitudes from the Peas who saw the site and the UKScrappers was phenomenal.

If anyone ever sees/hears me going to visit 2Peas again hit me on the head with something heavy will you, man- do they get you frustrated.

yummy food

We decided to go for a drive in the new car yesterday and tookmy best friend Sam,we ended up in Leeds at an Indian restanrant called Akbars,it was seriously yummy.Then we went to a Tunisian cafe called Sahara for a big pot of mint tea and a water pipe and to chill!!

Today, I really must get things done. Don't think we'll get to Spain, still so much to do in the shop.I also have a "feeling"not to go to Spain, don't know why but these feelings are not usually wrong!!

Keep waking up at night and all the problems and to do lists run through my head and keep me awake for a couple of hours. Thin I'll get one of those memory foam mattress toppers and see if that helps me sleep a bit better.

someone slap me

Feeling a bit desperate,why when everything is over am I feeling worse than ever? Got quite a bit done in the shop but there is still more to do,I am so fed up of it though. However much I do there still seems to be a huge mountain of crap to sort.

I hope that when its done and I'm organised at home I will feel better,but right now I could just bin everything and not have a business at all.

There are starting to rebuild in Lebanon, and are finding more bodies as they move the rubble. Nasser wants to go as soon as he can, Israel are still controlling the sea and air space though so don't know how he thinks he's going to get there.

Getting back to "normal"

that's what everyone is trying to do now. The spirit of the Lebanese people is amazing , they are already moving the rubble, and finding more bodies,including babies. Hezbollah have told the people that they will pay to rebuild the houses which have been demolished and the rebuilding will start straight away.

I feel such a wuss, everything that these people have been through and they are just getting on with things now, I'm here and can't even get my arse in gear to empty the shop.

All our family members have returned to their homes now and Nasser is looking for a ticket to go to Lebanon himself. He needs to see his family and maybe see of there is anything he can do to help there.

I'm trying to make things seem OK for the kids, they have been through a lot too. Layla made some cupcakes yesterday, she did everything by herself and they were gorgeous. We then went (with some friends) to Sheffield to look in a big Asian clothes store,I ordered a suit to be made,which will be ready in 4 weeks. We then went to Kebabish to eat,one of the girls who came with us is thinking of saying yes to an arranged marriage so she tried a wedding dress on,she looked beautiful, it had loads of hand sewn bead work and was very heavy,it even had a train.It was good value at £575 I thought.

We bought a new car on Sunday, a Mitsubishi Space Wagon,it is a 7 seater and very nice. The kids love it, and if they argue then they can sit on different aisles!!

A victory for Lebanon

Well,it seems that the ceasefire is holding for now, Thank God. My sister in law and family and mum in law went back to Nabatieh yesterday and my brother in law and his family are travelling back today. We saw some footage from Nabatieh n TV yesterday and the devastation is horrendous. Now that people are returning I imagine that the true extent of the damage and death toll will come out as they dig in the ruined buildings.

It is a day that many Lebanese never thought they would see though - a victory against Israel. Israel had always invaded Lebanon over the years and so was a constant threat, but now that Hezbollah have resisted them and shown that they will not take another invasion,for once Israels mighty fire power backed by the US and Britain did not win.

I don't understand how governments can bang on about Hezbollah being backed by Syria and Iran,even if there are so what? Isn't the US and the UK backing Israel? What is the difference? During the war I actually heard a politician saying that you should not count the lives of the Lebanese civillians lost the same as the Israelis lives lost, I wouldn't have believed someone could have said that until I heard it myself.

Ceasefire?

I hope so,I really do

The Rag Doll

I found this on a Lebanese blog, I defy anyone to read it and not cry

Dear all,

I am a little rag doll who has lost her owner. Yesterday she played with me, combed my hair, and showed me off to all her friends. There were quite a few of them, all huddled together in the basement. For a moment I was lost as a little boy grabbed me by the arms and tossed me high into the air, but then my owner rescued me and cradled me in her arms once again.Today, I am discarded, just another toy buried underneath a pile of stones, which used to be our playroom.My owner, that beautiful girl is laying near by, eyes closed, clothes torn, her fragile body coated in white dust. Has she become an angel? She seems to be at peace, I wonder when she'll wake up and keep me safe in her arms. I am a bit scared... I heard rockets overhead, but i'm used to them by now. My owner used to count them, but she is silent now, so I guess she doesn't know how to count that much. People are running around me. I guess the game of hide and seek is over. Quick! Wake up! Let's hide in the toilet!Quick! I see a man wearing a red cross coming towards you, lifting you gently... Why don't you take me along? Aren't I your favorite doll? You promised! You promised!I'm worried now. Your nap usually lasts 1 hour, and since there has been constant bombing you haven't been getting much sleep, but you were never quiet for so long. Why aren't you singing? Why aren't you soaking up the sun, teasing your brother, hiding his slippers?Then I see your mother, the woman who washes me when I get dirty after being dragged around the house all day, but she doesn't pick me up as usual. She is crying and calling your name, over and over. Answer her! Why are you so silent? Where are the others? Why is there so much noise? Who are all these people? Wait! Pick me up! Tell me what is going on!Don't take her away!We haven't finished playing... We haven't... She promised to comb my hair before we left Qana. She promised...

If you want to read more this is the link

Where's Blair?

Wouldn't you think that given that we supposedley had a huge terror alert yesterday in Britain that the Prime Minister would be about to do the job hes paid to do? or maybe just to offer a few calming words blah blah blah? But no,he knew about it but he went on holiday - bet he didn't fly Easy Jet.

The cynic in me wonders how true the terror alert was, it very conveniently took the focus off the war in Lebanon, I never saw one report on it yet the killing continues.

1000 +

Nothing to add really,still the same.
My nephew Jamil has done a really lovely thing, he works in Beirut and rents a small flat,he has given his flat to a displaced family and he is staying in a hotel.

Thank you all for your messages of support and concern, means alot tome.

war weary

This is what they must mean about being war weary. When we ring our family in Lebanon up now they just seem so tired and down,I am worried about my mum in law, she has always been a strong woman ( widowed with 6 children when her youngest was 3 months,parents to look after and all that living in just one room-makes you strong!) but now she sounds beaten, like she can't take much more,she is so sad for all the children who have been killed.

I'm in a weird state too but just keep feeling guilty about it as I am safe, I have food and water and freedom to go where I want to. But I'm not enoying those things, we eat because we have to at the moment, don't think we even taste the food, and although we can go anyway we please we don't feel like going anywhere. Part of me wishes that I was there, I miss everyone so much,I wouldn't want my children there, I don't know if I really want to be there but it's so hard not being there,if you see what I mean.

I don't know whats wrong with me, I can't seem to do anything I need to.I have had no income for amonth now as the shop is closed as I should be moving all the stock home and the website is closed whilst I do this.But, I can't get myself to do it,I can't concentrate on anything.I need a good kick up the bum !

Nasser enjoyed the demo, they walked for 5 hours around London. He said it was so moving when everyone threw childrens shoes at Downing Street to symbolise the children who have been killed. After the demo they went to Edgware Road for some Lebanese food and George Galloway walked in. I told Nasser he should have asked him if he wanted a saucer of milk.

demo

Nasser is going to the demo in London tomorrow, all being well. I was going too but fell down the stairs yesterday and have a bruised bum and side and my shoulder hurts, so I won't be able to go,but I'll be there in spirit.

Just been watching the news and can't believe that people are still calling Hizbollah fighters terrorists, what are the Israeli leaders and fighters then,if not terrorists?

Hizbollah are NOT targetting civillians but military targets, UNLIKE Israel,the death toll figures speak for themselves, surely? For the last couple of days the Israelis have been targetting roads which were being used to receive aid and food deliveries,they have killed 20 Syrian fruit pickers and even attacked trucks with fruit/veg from the Bekaa Valley. They are not just happy with killing so many innocent civillians they now want to starve the rest of the population too.

But it's OK,we can relax now because Tony Blair has postponed his holiday! Join the club Tony, we have had to do that too.

900 dead and still rising

The world doesn't think Lebanese lives are worth much do they?
Most of those dead are women and children,and still Bush and Blair give Israel the green light to carry on.
Makes me ashamed to be British

cupcakes

Here are some of the cupcakes I made to keep my mind occupied yesterday,these ones are mini ones with pink vanilla frosting,sugar flowers and edible purple glitter ;







This is the cupcake stand I ordered from an online shop,it would look better with bigger cupcakes,next time I'll try making muffin size ones.

They made it!

Thank God,our family made it to Beirut safely. I was on pins yesterday knowing that they were travelling,I had to try and look "normal" though as it was Ali's birthday and he had friends around, I spent the day in a kind of daze making about 60 cupcakes for something to do - they all got eaten though so they can't have been that bad!

Hala, Mohammad and kids are staying with Hanna, Hala's sister in Beirut and Leila, Hussain and kids and my mum in law are staying with another relative in Beirut. We spoke to them today and Hala sounded so happy to be out of the south, she is like me and very nervey,I am so glad they are not still there. At least they will be able to sleep at night,they had not slept for 20 days. I am also so glad that they travelled yesterday as today a lot of the roads they used have not been destroyed since then.

I didn't really realise what a state I have be in myself,today now that I know they are out of the immediate danger I have sort of (I can't explain this very well!!)but before I think I was running on adrenalin and now I feel like I've hit a red light and have melted!!!! I just need a good kick up the bum now to get the shop moved home so I can reopen the website and stop paying rent on the shop.Things just stopped since the war started, I simply could not focus on anything else.

safe travelling thoughts needed

Our family are travelling to Beirut today, it has just got too dangerous for them to stay in the south.
While I am glad that they are leaving I will be very nervous all day long until I know they are safe.
The journey to Beirut from our house would usually take an hour but as most of the roads and bridges have been destroyed it will probably take about 5 hours, maybe more. I hope they have enough petrol and I also hope they stay safe and that theyare not attacked by Israel as they travel as it has been done before.
Please send good vibes for them.

Meanwhile, it is Ali's 13th borthday today, he has some friends coming later on for a bbq, but it looks like rain here!

Please sign this petition to stop the war.

Please watch this video

We are going to London on Saturday for a demonstration. Off to get our flags ready. Thank you all for your continued support,messages. I can't always reply but they do mean a lot- thank you xx