Saturday, March 03, 2007

Moving on

It must be about 6 years ago when I received a book from a book club about this hobby called scrapbooking, I thought it looked interesting and we had recently bought a computer and had access to the internet for the first time so I did a search for scrapbooking and found lots of US sites but not many UK ones. I did find a yahoo group and joined that and junped into scrapbooking head first. That site became the UKScrappers we now know today,I started a market stall selling painted glass and a bit of card making stuff, which grew into a bigger stall, then a shop and a website,and now a website and a forum. Along the way I joined different forums, made friends, chatted you name it. But I found that the very reason I joined these sites "scrapbooking" got lost somehow. Being busy chatting and running a business I haven't actually had a lot of time to actually indulge in the hobby that started all this.

I am also fed up of the rumours and back biting involved, I suppose anywhere where you have a large gathering of women falling outs will occur and I have been guilty of joining in too, I've had my fair share of disagreements with people. But you know what, probably 99% of these people I have never actually met. That made me think, no matter how amazing the internet is for allowing us to "meet" people and "make friends" it is all a series of typed conversations,where emotions and tone of voice cannot always be understood and paranoia can set in so easily.

Then I get to thinking of the recent "real life" events I have had to cope with lately, the war in Lebanon and my Uncle being very ill brought it home to me that this is not a dress rehearsal this is it, we only have one shot at life. So I have decided to rethink a few things and if I have upset anyone in the past for any reason, whether intentionally or intentionally I am sorry. I have decided to not get too involved with anyone again,then I won't get upset if something goes wrong. It's hard enough to cope with "real" upsets in life without setting myself up for more.

So, I have deleted all my contacts in msn, deleted all my emails and pm's and have decided to start afresh so to speak, if anyone feels that I have upset them in the past or feels that I "don't like them" that is genuinely not the case. Starting from today I have nothing against anyone, have no "sides" to take and will look for the good in everyone,the bad is no business of mine.

This will be the last post here, as I kind of feel that I am starting a new "chapter" in my life I have started a new blog,if anyone wants to look feel free and heres to kicking the "scrapping" out of scrapbooking, I am getting back to the joys of this hobby I started years ago.Oh, and I did a layout today :)


Thursday, March 01, 2007

feeling down

Well Uncle Phillip is now at home, turns out that he has a crushed vertebrae which the hospital failed to pick up on as when he said he had back pain they just said it will be the bruising from the fall and didn't even x ray him. They insisted on an x ray when he got to the rehab centre and thats when they found out.He will have to wear a back brace for 4 months and is in a lot of pain. He also got MRSA from the hospital and has special soap to use for that.
So all in all he is a bit fed up but we know that it could have been a lot worse and just have to concentrate on getting him better now.

I've had a busy few days, things should start moving on the house front soon all being well.

Am feeling a bit sad and paranoid at the moment,hope its nothing.

Tuesday, February 13, 2007


Uncle Phillip is making great progress, thank God.
Yesterdays visit and todays were really fabulous!
He is making much more sense now and is a lot less confused.
He does say the odd strange thing still but not as much as before.
He desperately wants to go home though,keeps saying he is so bored, but at least he realises he is in hospital now.
He can manage to get up from bed and into the chair next to the bed,which is much more than we expected at this stage. I think his natural stubborness has proved to be helpful!
He can read, tell the time and write.
I must say though that I am not impressed with the hospital, we have been told hardly anything and it is only through us trying to see if he could read and write that we know that he can. There are not enough staff and there has been an outbreak of a bug on the ward.
I have never agreed with private health care before but after seeing the state the hospitals are in now I would be very tempted to consider it in future.
The care on ICU was fabulous but just seems like this ward is a huge jump and not as caring really. Not entirely the hospitals fault, there must be a severe lack of funding, I have voted Labour all my life but don't think I will again, could never bring myself to vote Conservative though so maybe the Monster Raging Looney or whatever it is called will get my vote next!

Friday, February 09, 2007


Well we have snow today,not sur if it will last till the morning though, hope so as I need those photos!

There is a bug on the hospital ward Uncle Phillip is on,hope he doesn't catch it, he really doesn't need something else to fight.

Must say that the level of care on this ward is very different to that on the ICU.
I had to ask a nurse tonight if they would make him more comfortable as he had slipped down the bed and wasn't propped up on any pillows at all and I was met with a sigh and that they had done it numerous times already. I suppose you could say it is Uncle Phillips fault as he thinks he can get out of bed and go home so as he tries to move he slips but its not as if he knows logically he can't get up.

Once we get him talking about something he is OK,I asked him about his last holiday in Las Vegas and he told us all about it but once his attention has gone he starts saying that he's going home. It's very very hard to se him like this.

I keep thinking of things we can take in for him to focus on,I think I'll get some holiday brochures of Las Vegas and see if they help and I've promised to bring him some Chocolate Orange as he likes that, I took him some biscuits tonight and he said they were junk LOL!

He does make us chuckle sometimes,he seems to have lost his tact as he says things like that nurse over there is a fat cow and look at that old codger over there.

We just want him back how he was.

Thursday, February 08, 2007


Bit down tonight after visiting.
Uncle Phillip looks normal but is confused,he can remember things from years ago but doesn't know where he is,he thinks he can get up and go to the pub.He wondered where we were going when we left when visiting finished.
He did read a get well card though and he could look at the clock and tell the time.
He is breathing unaided but his tracheotomy is capped incase they need it again so he still has to wear the big gloves,he asked my son Ali to take them off so Ali,bless him had to try to get them off but pretend he wasn't strong enough.
It's heart breaking to see him like this and I pray that he will return to how he was before in time because we just can't even think about him staying like he is now.

normal ward

Yesterday they moved Uncle Phillip out of ICU to a normal ward, that is amazing progress really.
I was shocked yesterday when it was said he will have to learn to walk again though, I hadn't thought about that side of things,I guess it's going to be a long recovery.
The visiting times are different in this ward so I will go and see him tonight.

We have snow here this morning,not lots thoughand it looks like it is going to vanish soon, hope we get some more,I need piccies of the kids in the snow!

Tuesday, February 06, 2007


I was so happy tonight at visiting, Uncle Phillip has been moved from the highest dependency bit of ICU and when I walked in he was sat up in bed with his glasses on watching TV!!!

He has a valve in his tracheotomy so he can now speak to us and he sounds just the same. He recognises us but he is confused, he thought he was at work and then in the garden at one point.

I pray that it is just a case of time and that he won't remain confused, he would hate that.

Friday, February 02, 2007


After visiting Uncle Phillip tonight it hit me that he could remain as he is,we all hope and pray that he recovers to how he was before but the worst case is that this is as good as it gets.

He had big gloves on tonight because he pulled a tube out, we knew he would because since he came out of sedation he has been reaching for the tubes! He really doesn't like the gloves. My cousin and auntie spoke to the consultant today and he mentioned "diffuse" brain injury and I told my cousin not to go and look it up on the internet,of course, what do I do when I get home!

I found the Headway website and found this:

The Stages of the Family's Emotional Reaction

1. Shock, panic, denial, "Please God, let him live."
2. Relief, elation, denial, "He's going to be fine."
3. Hope, "He's still making progress, but it's slow."
4. Realisation, "He's not going to get back to his old self." Anger, depression, mourning.
5. Acceptance, recognition, "Our lives are now very different."

I just pray that we never have to get to number 4


You know when you have so much to do that it all gets on to of you and you feel like dissapearing? That's how I feel right now.

I need to do stuff for the houses and thats all happenning all at the same time and it is doing my head in.

I wish I was a hedgehog and could hibernate for the winter.

Uncle Phillip is improving every day I think, he is not sedated anymore and we are told that it will take time for him to come round. I didn't cope very well when I visited him last night, he was more responsive, was moving his limbs and looking at us when we spoke to him. So that is good, but I think it ws upsetting to see him that way because he is so active,I can't explain really. We all just hope that there is no damage from the bleed on his brain caused by the fall and that he just needs time to recover.

It's just a bit mentally exhausting and everything else seems so trivial so isn't getting my full attention like it should.

If you have placed an order please bear with me if it is a little late, I'm doing my best.